finish to the sketch book posts

no, i have not got lazy; just busy and ok, i want to move on to some other things that i need to post. today finishes up the sketch book offerings from my daughter from several years ago that i ran across.







above was done by my daughter's friend, good work


i really wanted to add stories and words to all of these and i still may do that at some point.






































know these were rather light, but was the best my scanner could do. hope you enjoyed then and i will at some point revisit her sketching and my reflections in words upon them.

another sketch

sketch by my daughter, dated 1996

a sketch of ‘that dang cat’

yet another sketch by my daughter to share.

i have a cat; the infamous cat with no name. <(scroll to bottom)

this cat is so finicky that among other things, i have to be in the room with her food in order for her to begin to eat. once she starts to eat, i leave the room and she is fine. if i am not in the kitchen where her food try is, she will come, find me and just stare at me. honest, she will not eat until i go into the kitchen, then she starts.

gads, i sometimes want to strangle that cat.

sketch by my daughter, dated 1997

To be a caregiver

What does it mean was asked. I sat and thought but was unable to come up with a satisfactory answer really. I knew the question was in earnest need and was just a cry for someone to say your doing it right. That's all most of us want to hear. Your doing it right. However, I have no voice at times and this was one of those times. All I could do was listen as others answered with what they thought should be of help. A lot of lists. A lot of feelings and how too, when too and what not to. List. Just be yourself was a thoughtful reply from one who did know and that I respect.

Inside, I could only bring myself to give a hug, a handshake and a knowing look into their eyes and convey that it was all that; sometimes more; often less. You just have to be in the moment. Sometimes you can get away with not really thinking about it, just do what needs to be done.

Some of MY reality is having to clean, bathe, dress, rub the back of, comb the hair of, wash cloths, feed, hold, give pills too, say I love you, a thousand other things during the day, put to bed and loose sleep while listening for trouble.

See – a list. Not the answer I learned this morning.

I had been looking forward to this morning for a long time. I was going to go to a movie with some friends. I was very excited and even got up extra early this morning to make sure all of that list that needed to be done, in fact was done.

Then, I went in to wake my mother. She had had another mini-stroke this morning. This morning of all mornings. Into that list I went. I refuse to white-wash it, I felt myself becoming angry. This morning, why today. Damn it, what about me, my plans. my life? Then on and on into the list, after a while the anger was forgotten.

And in her bed she sleeps as I write this.

What does it mean to be a caregiver? I don't know – maybe it's missing a movie. I just hope I am doing it right.

All I can do is smile now; I'll cry later!

 

sketch by my daughter, dated 1996.

bibliomancy

1753, "divination by opening a book (especially the Bible) at random," the first verse presenting itself being taken as a prognostication of future events, from Gk. biblion (see Bible) + manteia "divination." Before the Bible, in pagan times, Homer (sortes Homericæ) and Virgil (sortes Virgilianæ) were similarly used.

and, i paraphrase catherynne m. valente in her book palimpsest:

instead i practiced the art of bibliomancy, trusting the book to show me what it wanted me to know.

one of the neat things about being old and not throwing away anything is that you find old stuff. old in this case being relative. in going through some boxes packed away along time ago, i found my oldest daughters sketch book. it is a few drawings she made from 96’ and 97’.  it is an over time long distance co-production i will be sharing with her and you as the reader.

thank you darling for making the sketches and i will try and put some observations and thoughts to a few of them. this should be fun and i hope you all enjoy.