I use to tell the kids that Mickey went to sleep.

 

 

ah, well, that wasn’t really true:

An Old Testament World!

 

{Delivered to my support group last night, read by Mindy}

Hello Everyone,

As always, I find myself in happy awe of all of you. I am proud to be counted among your list of friends and I am impassioned by my respect of each and every story you bring here each and every month.

It was a most amazing January; was it not?

Birds falling from the sky, fish drowning and washing up on the beach. Storms on Saturn. Volcanoes lighting up the night sky in diverse places. WOW, we live in an Old Testament World! And, that doesn't even cover the stuff we are exposed to on the evening news. Shootings right here in our home town, worldwide strange weather and seems like the entire Middle East in turmoil, wait, oh sorry; the Middle East is always in turmoil; but you get the point. What's next, dogs and cats living together? We indeed are living in strange times.

Not so headline worthy, but none the less important to me; my mom fell and hurt her head about 3 weeks ago. I take her to the ER for stitching up and while there, I have a blood pressure drop, fall and break my nose. At least I wasn't far from getting help. Like all face wounds, I was bleeding all over; but, I wash up pretty good and I am better now.

Speaking of mom, she continues to digress in her mental and memory aspects. She requires a lot of attention which seemed the place I have her at wanted to make a drastic upping of the charge for watching her. After a lot of talking with them, they have decided to continue at the same rate at least for now. For those who have been involved with Alzheimer's disease know what I am dealing with. It is hard but also provides for blessing and a special bond between my mother and myself that is a privilege that I will never regret.

As for me, the chest CT was good and normal and all those really good things which we are all so happy to hear. There is a spot which demands that an eye keep attention for any growth; but hay, for me, that seems about normal. I got a very good report from all of my doctors and nurse (wink/wink...Jan is always there for me) and I look forward to the next round of scans in the near future.

How I feel is a different issue. I hurt. I have trouble breathing. I am old. Nothing much can be done. I simply cannot afford to pay for another prosthetic at the current time. Oh well, as a non-producer in this society, I have no tears to shed.

I really hope each of you believe me when I say I much encouragement I get from being in your presence. I love and respect each and every one of you. I hope and pray for us all.

Be strong my glorious friends; after what we have been through...Old Testament type news is just a walk in the park; besides, what can they do; send us to the Nam?

Love to you all and my best wishes.

A pedantic discourse on things in front of my nose.

{sent this morning to my support group}

'And in the absence of facts, myth rushes in, the kudzu of history.'

                                                Cleopatra A Life ....Stacy Schiff

Hello everyone,

I once again find myself with the time to ponder. It occurs; and I confess makes desire to bring finger tips to key board. Oh for the older times when that line would have read; bring pen to hand. Oh well, time stops for no man.

Upon reading the above sentence in the new book by Ms Schiff, I was drawn in my memory to, and I would admit to several occurrences in times past listening to the pulpit, of the use of an amusing story of one William Randolph Hearst and his art collection. I cannot say if this story is indeed factual or if like accounts of kidney thieves, is mere urban legion. I offer it merely as reflective of my thought and without further statement as to the accurateness. As retold by several pastors in my life; (and as included by Warren Wiersbe) it goes something like this:

William Randolph Hearst Was a Billionaire Who Made His Fortune as a Newspaper Publisher. He Decided at One Point in His Life to Invest His Fortune in Great       Works of Art. One Day He Read About a Very Valuable Piece of Art in an Art Magazine, and He Decided That He Wanted to Buy It. So, He Called His Agent and            Sent Him All Over the World Trying to Find It. The Agent Searched for It All Over the World, But He Couldn’t Find It.

            William Randolph Hearst Insisted That He Find the Piece of Art; So, He Sent Him Out Again. Finally, the Agent Returned and Said, "Mr. Hearst I Have Found the          Valuable Piece of Art You Have Been Searching For. Mr. Hearst Said, "That is Wonderful Where Was It?" Then, the Agent Said, "It Was in Your Own Warehouse             Sir;      You Bought It Several Years Ago."

It has been stated at past meetings that WE as a group are in need of speakers. My friends, as I have no voice, I ask that you please indulge me and my desire to speak to this issue in the only manner I possess.

I personally see several Doctors on a regular basis. I shall upon my next visit with each, ask if they would be interested in addressing us. I know some of you are in the medical field and have access to reps from a verity of companies which may be interested in coming for a visit. Heck, I would indeed promise you all to behave most civilly in the presence of an insurance reprehensive. Honest, I would behave. I for one am most appreciative of anyone whom would take of their time and knowledge and share with us. It doesn't even really have to be medical or cancer related. There are many, many subjects which I personally would think be of interest to US as a group. I dare suggest almost any subject could somehow be germane to all of us. Give it some thought! One never knows unless one asks.

On this subject, I have a question. Do we as a group give as a token of our appreciation any sort of gift for speaking to us? In times past and in my other lives, I would always present a token of thanks. Sometimes in the form of a pen with a logo on it. I know that one of the most cherished mementos I personally received (in that past life of mine) was a simple index card of thanks signed by all in attendance. I hope we do. If not, I would ask that we do whatever is correct and governing to get something. It never has to be big nor expensive; it just should be honest.

That being said, I wish to make the following observation to everyone. I so enjoy and relish the time we spend in just catching each other up. I hope and desire that we always have and make the time to hear from each other. Like a warm cup of coffee at the breakfast table, we as a family must come to the meeting table with support. Lord knows I so need that. I would be willing to venture that most of the rest of us do as well. There is something permanent about the LOVE of true friends, those enjoined in battle.

I must tell you that I look forward each month to commune with each of you. I give thanks to Providence for our being able to do just that. Come together, tell stories, joke, cry, encourage and stir into a better life; if only in the moment. I find inspiration in each and every one of you. You, all of you; make my life better and I long to hear of your struggles, your victories and your blessed and beautiful .. every day of life. I am almost embarrassed to convey that those moments spent going around the table and listening to each of you is a highlight in my life. I am so proud and amazed by the breath of wonder which sits around me each time we meet.

Please, nothing I say is to be mistaken as a desire NOT to have guest speakers. It is not. I think it is important that we are exposed to and are educated by the current state of medical advance in our shared concern. This is a good, noble and important part of our healing process.

I just, also feel, it is so important that we not forget to enjoy in the victories and yes, setbacks; of each other. I by no means would ever for one moment pretend to know what was in the mind of Mike upon creation of this group and the wonderful job done by all of you who have been here from the beginning. I can only announce what I gain from what you all have so bravely done! You have given me friendship. I cherish it so highly and I desire to see it preserved. My hope and desire is that we never get so busy, or caught up in all that each of us face daily; that we forget what we all ready possess in our own warehouse: each other.

I hope to see each of you at this next meeting and I wish you all health. Be strong.

High Crimes and Misdemeanors…?

 

No.

Chasing an intergalactic spy across the heavens?

No.

Playing full contact D&D game?

No.

Was at hospital last night (mom had fallen), got a little woozy, add in some low blood pressure and probably not enough to eat and Walla… pass out time with nose in the lead!

I am OK, broke my nose but nothing to bad. Hay, at least I was in the hospital ER all ready.

Happy Birthday Guy!

 

You went to other worlds and you flew with a jet pack! Not many can say that. Happy Birthday Professor.

 

Some things to help you along the way!

Hello to my grandchildren and Merry Christmas.
One of you of just around the corner, one a few miles away and several of you a long way away from me in the frozen north. I love each of you and I have faith in God that each of you are of good health and are protected.
It is almost Christmas morning and I truly hope each of you enjoy your celebration of the day. Some of you are still young and have no realization other than wow, I'm getting stuff. Some of you older ones may be developing an appreciation of family along with wow, I'm getting stuff. One of you is excited by the box and paper.
I am not a man of wealth. I have no treasure to bestow upon you other than a small token of what has become a modern interpretation of the holiday season. I will confess to you that yes; I have attempted to present to each, something purchased. However, I want to say to each of you that that, is merely a display of a holiday that comes at the end of the year. I also want to pass along a little appreciation of and a personal belief in the celebration of the birth of Christ. Christmas.
I will leave it to your parents and your own maturity and growth in life to become acquainted with and develop a 'religious' identity. That children, is for your mom and dad to nurture in your youth and for you to discover as you reach an age of understanding and acceptance. It is important for your grandfather to express to you that I am a Christian. Beyond that, it is truly between you and God.
That said, I wish to give you each the gift of what I hope for and wish to share with you on this special observance. No, the baby Jesus wasn't really born on December 25th. No one really knows. It is a day to stop and realize just that he was born. We have gone through a lot of manifestations to this point; mostly about the giving is pretty universal. So, I wish to give each of you something.
The first thing I wish to give each of you is my Love. Children are a wonderful thing. But you my grandchildren are a most precious gift. I love each of you. No demands to be anyone other than who you are.
I would like to give you curiosity. No matter in which direction you are traveling in your life; grab it, take a hold of it. See what it's about. Consume life, do not be consumed by it.
I give you the desire to have a proper education. Demand reading, writing and arithmetic no matter what level of education you obtain or desire. You have to want and work for it. Schooling, your education, is important. Do not squander it or assume it's a right you have. You have to gather it, you have to gather everything you can, then peruse what is going to benefit you. I submit that you work hard on reading, writing and arithmetic. If your mind is grounded in these, all other things of interest should come easy. No, not very fun, but trust your grandfather. It is important.
I would like to give you compassion. That is a reflection of what I believe this day is a celebration of. At least a long time ago it was. It's not about a race car, nor a doll house. It is about how you feel about your brother, your sister, your friends and family. These feelings will change over time, wax and wane with distance; just never take any living thing for granted. We, both you and I and everyone are here to help each other. Strive to do so without boasting or becoming demanding.
I want each of you to have humble self worth. You are important. Never let anyone take from you your self esteem. As you get older and understand these words and there meaning, remember that your grandfather wanted you to keep your importance utmost in your mind as you grow and develop. Do not give yourself away. You will understand this with age. Just never think that you are not important. You are important and special.
I give you a little bit of humor. Life can be hard and I personally believe that you will face horrible things I could never anticipate. Remember to stop for a second and know its OK to laugh WITH. Just never laugh AT. Your world can be funny and that's a good thing to observe and embrace.
I give you strength. Every day, every step of the way, you're going to need strength. Some days you're going to cry and feel like letting go and not face tomorrow. You have to find a way to get up, dust yourself off and continue. No matter what you think in that moment, the sun will rise tomorrow, you can and must continue.
It's OK to cry. I do!
It's OK to worry. Just do so in small amounts.
Try not to hate, once you get to my age; you'll realize that it was a waste of time.
Take care of your body and your health. I did not; learn from my mistake. Be smart, your body is a temple, respect it.
I give you goals. Set them. They don't have to be big or long term. Just set goals and get use to obtaining them. You will adjust them with maturity.
Take the time to look around you every day. Learn to discover details around you. It's even OK to write them down. The color of a flower in your yard or along the road will slip your memory as you age. If you write down what's important to you, you will be able to clearly look back in your old age. It will be important. This looking will be different for each of you. That's OK.
Share things and don't get upset. Give is an important word. Being honest and truthful is very important and will make your way through life easier. Tolerance of others is a good thing.
Well, I have blathered enough and I could go on; but I will not go on much more. I just want you to know that Christmas isn't a holiday season. It's a cerebration of a birth. I challenge each of you to discover the birth of who and why that birth was important. When you discover that true meaning of Christmas, and I hope and pray you will; know that the gift waiting for you there is worth more than anything I could ever give. I just hope and pray that these things will help you along your journey.

Somehow, seems appropriate.

 

I ran across this and wanted to share. I started watching expecting not to like this; however, by the end I felt it very moving. I hope you enjoy it as well.

A prolegomena to Thanksgiving; an epistemological look at my caloric intake.

 

And why I am thankful to be alive.

On this wonderful day and because more than a few have asked, I thought I would share with all how I consume. I off this accounting as merely an answer to the question of how and to let all of you know how blessed I am and how truly thankful I am that this is a blessing from God as the alternative would be starvation.

 

I need a couple of things to begin:

A can of food which I purchase from Walgreens in one of three flavors, a cup and a syringe.

Today, for Thanksgiving breakfast I chose Vanilla. Just because.

Give the can a good shake, nothing like lumpy vanilla. Yucccky!

Into that cup it goes.

Purging my tube, nothing like stomach fluids flying every where. Sorry, but it’s a fact; I have to be careful as it can be very embarrassing if I’m not careful.

Get a syringe full of substance.

And, into the tube, ready to be pushed into my stomach. This is done slowly for several reasons.

Let the line breath and allow the fluid level to find its way into my stomach via gravity….yup; just need to allow for leveling.

After finishing a can, the cup and syringe gets a cleaning flush.

Time for a juicy dessert if you will. For me this occurrence calls for Grape. Oh yummy. Wish I could taste.

Same procedure, have to purge the air and allow for gravity.

Down the hatch; well, down the tube for me. Then, when done, simply rinse and repeat as needed.

I hope this has in no way has thrown a shadow over your Thanksgiving meal. I just thought it was proper to share with you what I do for not only today but every day in order to keep alive. I am so very thankful really. If the ability and procedures of having a feeding tube were not available, I would have no way of eating and would not be alive. It is important to me to be thankful. I trust you have something in your life to be thankful for as well. 

Random Act of Culture

“On Saturday, October 30, 2010, the Opera Company of Philadelphia brought together over 650 choristers from 28 participating organizations to perform one of the Knight Foundation’s “Random Acts of Culture” at Macy’s in Center City Philadelphia. Accompanied by the Wanamaker Organ - the world’s largest pipe organ - the OCP Chorus and throngs of singers from the community infiltrated the store as shoppers, and burst into a pop-up rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel’s “Messiah” at 12 noon, to the delight of surprised shoppers.”

Please take a moment out of the craziness of ‘the season’ and ponder the reason. I hope you enjoy…..Hallelujah at Macy’s.

A walk in downtown Tucson this morning:

 

Chicago Store is a ‘must’ stop for any musician.

Just some random views.

Me in the emptiness

always a Church in town

Colors

Looking up

water and trees

There is beauty here, just sometimes unseen.