Tuesday, November 6, 2012

the Tilt of the Table

My update to the support group this evening as read by Scott.

Hello everyone,

It is always so good to see everyone. This group and everyone associated with it are in my prayers.

Well, slowly but surly, I continue to make appointments and take test and meet yet more nice individuals in the health care industry. Last week I took something called a mid-evil rack of....oh wait a second; they told me that was a tilt-table test. If you have not had the pleasure of one of these, let me add the following words to your vocabulary..... RUN Away!

I jest. It is nowhere near the worst thing I have had to endure. However, it was not fun. Strapped to a table, hooked up the WA zoo, OK, my chest, taken up to 60 degrees and have a rather charming technician try not to snicker at the funny face I was probably making. Here, let’s give him some Nitro and really have a fun time. Trust me, passing out is never fun. Not to me anyway. While safer than normal as I was strapped into place on a table, everyone seems to forget that my neck mussels are severely lacking in ability to support my head when awake, much less when I am not conscious. That is my fault I suppose as I forgot as well and did not ask for a head restraint. After coming back to reality, took me almost an hour to recoup enough to drive home and hit bed for the remainder of the day. Note, side effect of taking Nitro is a server headache.

I see the doctor this Friday..... do any of you know if it is normal for the condemned soul ahhhh hummm patient, to pass out during a tilt table test?; because I sure did and from the reaction of the  inquisitor, ahhh health care technician; I was out for some time.

I have had now most every known test to medical science, not really but I have a pretty awesome resume. Most of my new doctors are always asking me if my medical history is real. I must admit that I get a kick out of breaking in new younger doctors much as was my experience at the Mayo Clinic, but when I have seasoned Doctors in near states of jaw dropping amazement, I confess my little smirk and my Love for all of you for getting me one step closer to the end of all this.

Maybe I am being dishonest, but I really hope there is yet something wrong with my heart and they can tell me to take this pill and you will be better, than not having an answer and in the back of my mind knowing it is probably that damn cancer yet again.
I am tired. I am hurting most of the time. I can’t do a lot of the things most people take for granted. But I come to this table every month, and I am blessed by the courage and strength and the sheer desire to live that each of you bring. I am so blessed by each of you and I really wish one meeting I could share with all of you that I was OK and not having my fingers crossed behind my back.

Hopefully, it is nothing. But hay, at least I will have yet another medical related bill to pay. I guess the alternative is a burial plot.

I love you all and I pray that God will bless each of you.