Friday, June 20, 2008

....she's just not ready to let us go....

There are about a million tales I would rather relate with you all, than this. However, as all of you have become my friends and loved ones, I must yet again share with you; the news.

It’s funny really, my body has told me every step of this journey what to expect really. I can not really call it pain, although that is a part. There is just a feeling of a tremendous battle taking place within my body. Not a battle of good and evil nor right and wrong. It is just simply the rumbling, the strain, the clanking and the haze of some unseen darkness that shrouds my insides and is attempting to lay waste to everything within me. I feel its fingers as they simply just invade the corners and crevices that never should be felt. I can feel its inexhaustible strength and the talons grip and grapple and twist and tug at me. Damn it.

The cancer is back. This time, it is in two locations. Once again it is in my right lymph node and there is now a spot on the left side on my throat/tongue as well. Strange words to my ear in the ‘final report’; that cracks me up…. ’final report.’ Like some nasty horrible act of inhumanity from the past. Words like malignant mass lateral; suspected lesion; left jugulodigastric chain and my favorite…. Right hypopharyngeal wall. Here is another really fun thing to talk about with your doctor: and I quote…”there is a markedly increased uptake in the lesion suspected lateral….” Damn it; like some really nightmarish porno movie –vs. - a really bad 50’s sci-fi novel taking place within my very own throat.

For those of you old and or maybe young enough to remember Frank Zappa: “why does it hurt when I eat?”

I sit here this morning and I am once again waiting for the fine folks at the Mayo Clinic to come to terms with the evil dark empire of my insurance. I await going up next week and having the pleasure of selecting a date for my surgery; yet again.

Please keep me and each outer in your thoughts, your prayers and in your smiles. I have family, but sometimes I need each of you to lean on. Thank you, each one of you for being a supportive hand in battle. I hug you all and ask that you share my tears. I will continue to fight, but I would be lying to you if I said I enjoyed it.

George Clooney playing Capt. Billy Tyne in the Perfect Storm: “she’s just not ready to let us go.”

Be strong everyone.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

honest words

“The truth is: there is no such thing as good or evil, just attractiveness or unattractiveness.”
- Jason Thompson,explaining what he's learned from manga

Sunday, June 15, 2008

happy father's day...





to my three wonderful boys. i am proud of each of them for their ability to be true fathers and not just observers. i am blessed in that my grandchildren are being looked over by such fine men. thank you guys; each one of you. they are all three, strong men!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

mom on mt. lemon


sorry about jumping back and forth, but these pictures have been interesting to look at but difficult at the same time. 'any how' back to 1963 and that trip up mt. lemon. here is mom doing her best to look as if she is having a good time.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

strike the pose...


here is mom and bobbie in front of that airplane on pikes peak. sorry about the size and quality of the pictures. there are old and in a strange formate and i am having issues getting them posted still. never the less, here is todays.

Monday, June 9, 2008

on pikes peak in colorado


one of the first pictures i posted on this blog was of my dad and myself on pikes peak. this is a group shot of that same day; and i think i have one more to post soon.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

mom and her friend bobbie


i started a set yesterday of early pictures which i have obtained from mom's friend bobbie. i really do thank her for the use of them. this is a shot of the two of them dated 1957. it is amazing for me to look back that far into time. i would be two at the time this was taken.

(for some reason, i am unable to get this picture to resize properly when you click on it. i do apologize)

Saturday, June 7, 2008

three men on the mountain


this is from 1963 and we went up mt. lemon with family friends. if memory servers me correct, these were taken on july 4th of that year.


first up is one of the three guys. that is dad on the left. if you look over his left shoulder, you will see me with my head down on the table.


i will be posting several of these over the next few days.


finally! maybe our jet-packs are coming?

well, some exciting news from the what was promised to us a long time ago department. this is exciting and i hope is just the beginning.

AP
Levitating train from L.A. to Las Vegas gets boost
Friday June 6, 6:00 pm ET
Bush signs law freeing dollars for levitating train from Disneyland to Las Vegas

Thursday, June 5, 2008

yet again i wait

I did indeed have my follow up with Dr. Stratigouleas this morning. The MRI did show a slight swelling in my lymph nodes on the right side, again. This may or may not be a serious concern. Just tells them that something is going on. It may in fact be healing as I am hoping and preying for. However, Strat has decided to yet again take on the evil empire know as United Health Care and fight to get me a PET scan next week, or ASAP. That way, he will know for sure.

So, yet again I wait. I do feel better after seeing him as the indications from the MRI were more positive than I was prepared for. That's a good thing.

I do thank each of you for your concern and support. I will of course let you all know what happens after the scan. Please keep your fingers crossed.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

it seems like the fight is getting harder


russ,
my thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. be strong and know that i hope and wish nothing but the best for you in this fight. damn! be strong my friend. i wish i had the ability to make some offering in your stead.