Remember that this blog is really nothing more than one long ‘Hello, this is who and what I am’ open conversation with my grand children. I post this as all things for them, so they know a little about me. There is no political inference which should be made by any casual reading of this blog. Any attempt at trying to consider my political thoughts and feelings would probably be a mistake. It is simply a part of me and I intend to give my grand children as honest look into their grand father as I can. As with postings of various correspondences I have, they are mealy offered to give insight and nothing more. Yes, this has been redacted and edited.
Delivered to my speech therapist this morning:
March 30, 2010
Speech Center of Southern Arizona
I am most implored to have to purpose the following to you. Beings as I have received the latest decision from your payments department as influenced by the unending rhythm of denial by any and all insurance providers I have; I have to inform you of my decision with regards of your services going forward.
Please note that I in no way wish to diminish the services you have provided me and the information you have imparted. You have been a resource for assurance in a time of true ignorance and have offered support during the formational period of my life as a laryngectomee patient. There is no price that will every be acceptable to my wish and desire to be passed to you in offer of homage. This is in addressing to your professional services. As a person and friend; I can only say that I am privileged and blessed by your existence as a fellow human being. You are a wonderful person and there is no amount of money I could ever offer in my admiration.
That not with standing and being said; it is a clear and present truth that Insurance is in no way interested in making payment for your services. It is apparent that they wish and intend to have my life end in impoverishment and a willingness to place one into indentured servitude for his inability to promptly and happily remit the amazingly high cost of staying alive. I sometimes have a hard time reminding myself that I live in America in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Ten Anno Domini.
You may not be aware that a spot has been discovered in my upper left lung during my last Pet Scan. I am not sure what my future holds other that the impending realization that I will have to spend yet more money in an attempt to live. There are decisions that I am being force to make upcoming and I am damned if I intend one of them to die as a pauper. I intend to accomplish first class passage upon an airship destined to arrive in Paris France as soon as possible. There, I intend to live the remainder of my miserable existence in the arms and embrace of the best houses of ill repute and in the care of a beautiful and young courtesan whose eyes of desire are not diminished by my age, my inability to talk, the constant seepage of mucus from my stoma nor the tube hanging so vulgarly from my stomach.
Damn, that sounds wonderful, well, not believing that(?), may be I would like to visit Disneyland with my grand children. May be that is a much more favored end story to my existence on this earth. Either way, I shall need means and the ability to pay.
(Blank), please cancel my appearance with you which is currently booked for May 10th at 9:45AM. I am sorry but, with your willingness, I shall only call and see you at which time I feel the need to replace my prosthetic device. If this is not acceptable, please inform me and I shall make alternate plans for service to my stoma.
I just can not continue to keep spending money I do not have. I am on full disability and I do not have an inexhaustible reserve of money in my savings. If, my days are numbered I shall spend it on my children and grand children with glee. If I have time left in this world I need money to at least survive and exist with some manner of decorum.
I trust you understand.
I have this very day, made payment of yet $40 dollars in an attempt to pay in full the amount due for services incurred. Please inform them that putting me into collections will do no good. I am already in collections up to my neck for cost from hospitals and procedures which took place a while ago. Please accept a place in line as I have every intension to pay my bills in full. The staggering amounts I owe due to cancer are daunting to say the least.
I wish you and your practice the best. I hope and pray for you as a fellow person and hopefully as a friend. I do so appreciate you. I will hopefully see you when I have to have my unit changed out. I promise to call you when I think there is leaking or if I feel something is wrong.
Most humbly and in sincerity,
Some items Post Script in nature:
-Thank you for the efforts and time spent for attempting to get the physical therapy. I had to cancel that for the reasons disclosed herein. Please accept my apology for any embracement this may have caused you or Dr. (blank). No need adding to my issues.
-I have received the book you so kindly mailed to me. Thank you. I have not finished it as of the current time but I can tell you I am enjoying it and find it somewhat akin to my mothers situation. I will be sure to treasure this gift always. Bless you for the thought.