For my FPS gamer friends

Yet again, very soon, there will be an assault on game stores around the world. I have to admit that at some point I will indulge...just time is prodigious in its absence for me right now. I would thing my sons will indulge.
It will be interesting to see where this installment stacks up in the franchise and; how long this cash cow will sustain itself. (?)

the Hovel is this many, today!

 

It was three years ago that I started this blog. I had been posting to a web site for a while but was looking for a better, faster way to communicate. I decided to start this blog. It was originally just to be a way to get out some news as to how my cancer was progressing and just to amuse myself and spend a little time.

My very first blog post is here.

It quickly turned to being an open letter to my grandchildren. One big long this is who I am, this is what is on my mind, this is important to me; this is just of interest; here is what I told others about me and hello, I love you; all in one place for them to get a chance to know me. That’s why there really isn’t a single theme or linear approach to this blog. There isn’t one.

When one gets holder; being know becomes an important thought with respect to one’s on grandchildren.

As I sit here and write this, my mother, your great grand mother fell a few weeks ago and hurt herself. She is being transferred from Villa Campana where she has been recovering and will shortly be placed into a permanent care home. I am unsettled in this; however, I just can no longer extend to her the care and attention she requires. These past several years have taken their toll own both her and me. I want to tell you that I am tired, but I continue, as best I can to honor my mother and father.

Seems like life never takes a break and keeps coming in all its fury. Oh well, with God’s grace, I will endure. Remember, if it does not kill you; it can only make you stronger.

As you (any visitor) go through any post here, know that you are most welcomed. I have meet some amazingly wonderful people via this blog and the internet. You are encouraged to drop me a note, leave a comment and what I most hope for; that you find encouragement to live each and every day to the best of your ability. Just remember, you are opening and envelope and taking out a letter from me to my grandchildren. It’s OK, you are welcome to read along and hopefully enjoy the journey. I pray each and every day they will. I never grow tired of telling them that I love them. I just hope they remember that I was here, that I tried really hard and I want nothing but their happiness.

God Bless you guys. I really enjoy talking to each one of you.

If I could I would.

Thanks to one of my favorite feeds: awesome spaces comes this wonderful space. For some reason I felt compelled to share this. That doorway is just stunning and the light is marvelous. Something tells me that a cup of coffee outside on that patio would be a heavenly experience.

Man shall not live by pancake alone!

 

You may find this disgusting, however from my standpoint, which is one that does not consume in the normal fashion as most people; I am of interest in this. Scoff at me if you want for I consume via a tube and I imagine you do not. File under YET another reason I love Tokyo!

 

the info is here

 

 

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

 

      One of the most inspirational and uplifting secular books I have ever read. I was amazed and humbled by my conflicts in life as compared to Bauby's resolve to merely pass time and retain some humanity. 
      At times I cried, even wept; at times I cheered and yelled in support. With every word, sentence, paragraph I keep this prayer on my mind...'there but by the grace of God.' 
     I have a daily struggle against cancer and I have been brought to my knees by the fight with a fellow human being and their sheer will to have the simplest of decorum and happiness. I was inspired and yet ashamed by my own weakness to ever have had any audacity to have ever felt sorry for myself.
     If you are looking for inspiration,have the courage to read this account of a life most extraordinary. This book moves to the top of my recommendation list.

 

find it here and at other places

Denial est non a flumen in Egypt!

 

The following was delivered to my support group last night and read by Mindy.

 

Hello everyone,

I hate to be not as positive as I normally strive to be, but as the poet of old said... I think I have outlived my insurance companies desire to provide coverage for me any longer.

Years ago in a different life I worked and toiled and I paid my bills and I tried to put a little away for a rainy day. I strove to take care of myself and when I could I even tried to help others. I miss those day.

Several weeks ago now, the latest games started again. Attempts at discouragement and coverage denial puzzles laced with language worthy of a Harvard Law Degree or at the least; a tomb designer in ancient Egypt, began to occur again and again.

What has been most amusing is the rapid coverage acceptance / coverage denial flip flop letters which cross in the mail and are down right rude in nature. It's like in the Weimar Republic when the workers was paid every two hours to keep up with the continued escalation of prices. Only with me, it is keeping up with the denial of coverage.

As of this evening, I have had to cancel 3 doctors follow up appointments, one Petscan and any attempt to feel comfortable about my current status as a citizen in this country. There is also continued unpaid bills which were for service authorized by them.

Yes, I jest; however I am frustrated and I fear that my providers are committing murder by denial and I am their target for improving the bottom line.

As the old British general said in his thick accent, 'There is no tanks in War!"

I confess that I am now a non-producer and I do suckle from the troth of kindness from the good people of this great nation. I struggle with this fact every day. I am part ashamed and part confused. However, I tried to do the best I could when I could do it. I am tired and the insurance companies continue to trifle with my care.

Well, as I have stated before, my goal in life is to live one day longer than my mother. I hope she lives forever, that way I will bankrupt them by the sheer volume of stamps they have to use on all those confusing letters of denial.

Please forgive my ramblings. I love you all and I get strength and nourishment from knowing each and every one of you. You are my friends, my loved ones, my support group and I acknowledge you all as fellow human beings.

On thoughts about Tucson

     There is no patina upon my city. Nothing to surround it and protect it. Most old cities enjoy a certain shine, a glossy layer of existing families and historical stoops which exist to protect, to cleanse and to share in an appropriate way. They do the dirty work in the open light of everyday tourist who neither have the time nor the inclination to delve below the surface they are provided by these protectors, these saints of all things destined to be considered the truth.

     My city doesn't have any such service, any such museum staffed by educated and trained professionals who have an ever looking eye towards those dirty little secrets. I suppose we have a few, mostly superficial and in various stages of support or validly. Those secrets that are the dirt in the mud on a rainy day at the bottom of the dingiest alley go unprotected or remembered. My city has long been exposed to the harshness of an overbearing sunlight that decays the strongest structure, the best paved streets and the strongest of individuals. There are no societies willing to take broom and pan to dust, no historical guidance to ease and learn from the mistakes of the past.

     Oh, we have our share of strong towers headed into the sky. We have beautiful mansions and hovels barely more than a cardboard box. We have a river without water but bridges which span them, often unconsidered by the most inquisitive of commuters or pilgrims from afar. We have trees for parks, though mostly dead or dying, you see, our grass is brown.

     We have been here for thousands of years, with nothing to show. That's because its all blown away or laying in piles of dust pounded by wind and baked in the oven of time. This is my city, there is beauty in its decay and honor in its hardness to accept. This is my city; the city with no patina.

a world building exercise offered as mealy amusement.

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Edit Note: Upon a review by a reader, who I agreed with totally and confess laziness to choosing the word ugliness. I strike that and substitute and insert 'decay'. Thanks for pointing out my error.