Sunday, April 13, 2008

it has come to my attention

that i do not really exist. i am sorry for this inconvenience, however, due to this disturbing news, i will not be posting a picture or making any short quip about it. the sad news of my being non sentient came to me via the internet - therefor it must be true. now, i will be off to inform my creditors that they are sadly mistaken in the delivery of bills; let services i obtain via the internet to cancel the delivery of any items I MAY HAVE BOUGHT. and yes, sadly, contact my grandchildren and let them know that i am merely the figment of someone's cruel and criminal imagination; and that because of this revelation, i will no longer be taking them to the zoo or holding them or talking to them on the phone or, or, or. damn, words have meaning. i wish i could not read.

(don't worry to my millions of loyal followers here at window into a hovel; i have my crack staff of world wide lawyers working on this very issue and they assure me that i will be back by tomorrow. please pardon this slight interruption.)

No comments: