yet another end of the world video

i really enjoyed the music on this one.

88 years ago today

I would suspect most everyone thinks their mother is the most special woman in the world. At least I hope you could think that. I do.

I have wrestled for several days on how to say something special about my mother. I have started and trashed several attempts as none have made me happy or satisfied. I almost, note: almost; wish that I didn't have to say something, but I am compelled too in the end.

There are so many memories I could share, so many lessons imparted that I could pass along. I could recount stories of what a special woman my mother is. Of sacrifices made by her for myself, my family and anyone who was blessed by her presence in their lives. She was a woman who gives to this world, not one which takes.

She spends her days now in a world without memories for her. Most of the time I have to remind her who I am. This is the second time I have had to endure this painful aspect of life. She isn't in pain. She is content near as I can tell. She just does not remember. Each visit is an exercise of re-acquaintance.

For all you have done for me, thank you mom. I love you very much and I pale when I think of your strength. You were a wonderful wife to my dad, a wonderful mother to me and a damn blessing to all who every knew you. Thank you God for allowing her to bring me into this world, she has been a special gift.

Happy Birthday Mother.

Hornaday loses battle with cancer at 77 years of age

here

In all this, Job charged God not foolishly.

I set here, alone with my thoughts and my memories. Sometimes those thoughts and memories are somewhat warm, kind and amusing. Sometimes they are not. Some tend to be cold, blunt and sting with a venom.

Life is not always a triumph of good over evil. As noted by all those who have come before me; it isn't at all fair nor equitable. I try with every fiber of strength I have to keep the faith and strive to be positive, upright and without flaw. I prey that God will place his hand around me and steady my path.

Just a few days ago my oldest son told me he could not remember the sound of my voice. I cried.

What has happened to me is by my own arrogance. I knew better, but I choose to ignore my own best interest in an indulgence for nothing. I sometimes wish I had someone or something to blame.

But, that would be easy I guess.

Zeppelin taking to the skies over Bay Area

how cool would this be?

go here

pale blue dot

when i saw carl, it was a special night. his voice is just as it sounds and is still in my ears to this day.

killer bees

i have to admit to strange things happening on the pitch, however, i have no experiences that can compare to this:

a cartoon

king of the internet

December 15, 1966

December 15, 1966

TO: All Employees
FROM: Roy Disney

The death of Walt Disney is a loss to all the people of the world. In everything he did Walt had an intuitive way of reaching out and touching the hearts and minds of young and old alike. His entertainment was an international language. For more than forty years people have looked to Walt Disney for the finest quality in family entertainment.

There is no way to replace Walt Disney. He was an extraordinary man. Perhaps there will never be another like him. I know that we who worked at his side for all these years will always cherish the years and the minutes we spent in helping Walt Disney entertain the people of the world. The world will always be a better place because Walt Disney was its master showman.

As President and Chairman of the Board of Walt Disney Productions, I want to assure the public, our stockholders and each of our more than four thousand employees that we will continue to operate Walt Disney's company in the way that he has established and guided it. Walt Disney spent his entire life and almost every waking hour in the creative planning of motion pictures, Disneyland, television shows and all the other diversified activities that have carried his name through the years. Around him Walt Disney gathered the kind of creative people who understood his way of communicating with the public through entertainment. Walt's ways were always unique and he built a unique organization. A team of creative people that he was justifiably proud of.

I think Walt would have wanted me to repeat his words to describe the organization he built over the years. Last October when he accepted the “Showman of the World” award in New York, Walt said, “The Disney organization now has more than four thousand employees. Many have been with us for over thirty years. They take great pride in the organization which they helped to build. Only through talent, labor and dedication of this staff could any Disney project get off the ground. We all think alike in the ultimate pattern.”

Much of Walt Disney's energies had been directed to preparing for this day. It was Walt's wish that when the time came he would have built an organization with the creative talents to carry on as he had established and directed it through the years. Today this organization has been built and we will carry out this wish.

Walt Disney preparation for the future has a solid, creative foundation. All of the plans for the future that Walt had begun -- new motion pictures, the expansion of Disneyland, television production and our Florida and Mineral King projects -- will continue to move ahead. That is the way Walt wanted it to be.

i try not to preach....

but sometimes i have to admit to my own transgressions. learn from me, do not tempt fate; please!


Cancer Will Soon Become World’s No. 1 Killer, With Developing Nations Hit Hardest

finally an update

Hello to all of the wonderful and beautiful people at the support group,

I know it has been awhile since last I was able to write all of you. I have been at my sons house and he has no internet. Back home now, so herein lies the reason you are currently reading this e-mail.

Where to begin:

The operation ( s ) back in October were in a word- interesting. Almost nothing Dr. Hinni was expecting came to be. Typical of me I believe. The cancer was pretty extensive and had in fact gone into my larynx. Prompting a real 'HOUSE' moment right out of TV. In mid operation I was awaken to sign a consent to allow for the taking of my voice box in total. This was the one consideration we had not signed off on. That was fun.

The long and short is it took two days of operations for him to decide he had 'gotten it all'. Now, I have heard this before!!!!!!! Ok, I will have a good attitude. Sorry about that. I also had a really neat tube in my nose. That was amazingly not fun. I also have a hole in my throat that has truly been fun to deal with. Mayo (read as insurance) let me stay at Mayo for one week. Came home and 48 hours later I was in the hospital for a few weeks. 3 times total during Oct. Same old feeding issues. Throwing up and not being able to get food to stay down. Couple weeks later and a side trip to Valley Health Care, I made it to my sons.

I just get able to feed and have some strength and it's off to see Dr. Hinni for a follow up.

Ok, he thinks all the cancer is gone. I do finally pass a swallow test and can now eat liquids. (yum) I can learn to talk with therapy etc. etc., hay, all is good, you just have to keep fighting. Oh, btw, you have an appointment to see Dr. Manning...you win another round of radiation.

F/U with Dr. Strat shoved in, all is good and here is your speech therapy person. I really like her and she seems very competent. I like her. Sidebar: I can say a few things but hard to understand. It just takes practice and time and effort and and and. Cancer sucks people.

Got to Dr. Manning. Hi Steve, you have an 80% chance of recurrence. Dr. Hinni, Dr. Strat and I are all concerned. You not only need the radiation but also you will be getting chemotherapy as well. Damn, I am scared to which Dr. Manning gave me a hug and said he was also. I love that man.

Whet in today, got fitted for that damn mask. It was hard. When I got out, there was Jan, to give me a hug. Thank you Jan.

Please prey for me as this is going to be hard; again. This time with Chemo so I know I will be sick (er); maybe than last time. I am not afraid to tell you that I am scared.

Well, that’s the nickel tour of the last two months. The ugly has been deleted as I know each and everyone of you have stories worst than mine. Just know that I am trying to keep the faith and make you all proud. It is hard but I keep digging and maybe someday, I will be able to move on and just be able to feel good.

I love you all, be strong and I will try to keep you all updated. I know that as I get sick I tend to not e-mail all of you. I will do the best I can and I will also try and send word through Jan if she does not mind.

I miss you all and have each of you in my heart.