finally an update

Hello to all of the wonderful and beautiful people at the support group,

I know it has been awhile since last I was able to write all of you. I have been at my sons house and he has no internet. Back home now, so herein lies the reason you are currently reading this e-mail.

Where to begin:

The operation ( s ) back in October were in a word- interesting. Almost nothing Dr. Hinni was expecting came to be. Typical of me I believe. The cancer was pretty extensive and had in fact gone into my larynx. Prompting a real 'HOUSE' moment right out of TV. In mid operation I was awaken to sign a consent to allow for the taking of my voice box in total. This was the one consideration we had not signed off on. That was fun.

The long and short is it took two days of operations for him to decide he had 'gotten it all'. Now, I have heard this before!!!!!!! Ok, I will have a good attitude. Sorry about that. I also had a really neat tube in my nose. That was amazingly not fun. I also have a hole in my throat that has truly been fun to deal with. Mayo (read as insurance) let me stay at Mayo for one week. Came home and 48 hours later I was in the hospital for a few weeks. 3 times total during Oct. Same old feeding issues. Throwing up and not being able to get food to stay down. Couple weeks later and a side trip to Valley Health Care, I made it to my sons.

I just get able to feed and have some strength and it's off to see Dr. Hinni for a follow up.

Ok, he thinks all the cancer is gone. I do finally pass a swallow test and can now eat liquids. (yum) I can learn to talk with therapy etc. etc., hay, all is good, you just have to keep fighting. Oh, btw, you have an appointment to see Dr. Manning...you win another round of radiation.

F/U with Dr. Strat shoved in, all is good and here is your speech therapy person. I really like her and she seems very competent. I like her. Sidebar: I can say a few things but hard to understand. It just takes practice and time and effort and and and. Cancer sucks people.

Got to Dr. Manning. Hi Steve, you have an 80% chance of recurrence. Dr. Hinni, Dr. Strat and I are all concerned. You not only need the radiation but also you will be getting chemotherapy as well. Damn, I am scared to which Dr. Manning gave me a hug and said he was also. I love that man.

Whet in today, got fitted for that damn mask. It was hard. When I got out, there was Jan, to give me a hug. Thank you Jan.

Please prey for me as this is going to be hard; again. This time with Chemo so I know I will be sick (er); maybe than last time. I am not afraid to tell you that I am scared.

Well, that’s the nickel tour of the last two months. The ugly has been deleted as I know each and everyone of you have stories worst than mine. Just know that I am trying to keep the faith and make you all proud. It is hard but I keep digging and maybe someday, I will be able to move on and just be able to feel good.

I love you all, be strong and I will try to keep you all updated. I know that as I get sick I tend to not e-mail all of you. I will do the best I can and I will also try and send word through Jan if she does not mind.

I miss you all and have each of you in my heart.