Wednesday, May 6, 2009

for some reason i am angry

some days are just hard. i am ugly and have a lot of scars. i constantly have mucus in my ‘larry’ and i am tired. fighting social security as well as insurance yet again. it takes strength to fight this crap. to have time with my kids and grandkids and outliving my mother keep me going. but damn, it sucks to be me and no way to smile some mornings. i feel like the monster in some love passion for the pretty people. like the hunchback, there is no caregiver for me. damn them both, i made mistakes; like any human. but to leave me alone in this shit is so rude of you both. i loath you and it has shortened my live. you have defeated my will. screw you, i hope your assholes falls off!



Sarah said...

You couldn't be more wrong! You are the most beautiful person that I know and the courage that it takes you to take each day as you have is truly amazing! I can only hope that you shared that courage with me when I need it for I fear that I will never be a true super hero to my children as you have been to me. You are not ugly you are my father and I am damn proud of that fact.

Thufer said...

Thank you baby, just sometimes reality is a little hard. I do try and I am OK really, just ever so often I have to shed a tear as I am only human. Sorry, but I never hide or lie. It is not all wonderful and fuzzy in my world. It will be good for my grandkids to know that I hurt as well as love or was happy. Most of this has to do with my constant need to fight insurance or social security. Being sick is a pain in the ass and leads to un-needed stress forced on you by those who in theory are there to help. Bah! I say.